How to talk to an intimidating boss
During a 20-year career in professional baseball management, Skip served as CEO for five different franchises.
That experience gave Skip tremendous insight and skill for build high-performing teams in the workplace.
I created a presentation for our organizational meetings in the fall where I could offer the concept to our principal owner and the four other general managers in our organization.
Following my presentation, which I thought I did pretty well considering my extreme nervousness, our principal owner said, “Well, Skip, that’s a great idea, but, we don’t do it that way in Nashville (the home office and city that launched this group’s first baseball team).” That statement meant I wouldn’t be doing it in my city, either. I felt judged and demeaned in front of my bosses and peers.
I eventually realized that there were two glaring problems with my approach: If you’re feeling intimidated by someone, understand that your fear gives them power over you and allows them to dictate your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Is it their overall demeanor, personality, approach, tone, title/position, education level, financial status, viewpoint, or something else?
Cowering in the face of a more challenging personality can also come across as: Want to start communicating like an introverted boss? Is there a pattern in the type of people who intimidate you?
If you’ve ever found yourself stuttering, stammering, or even radio silent in the presence of a more menacing personality, I feel your pain.
As a staunch introvert, loud, aggressive, and/or insensitive people always intimidated me (and sometimes they still do). When I to engage them, I’d often lose my train of thought and fumble through my words or simply fade into the background, letting those around me dominate the conversation.
Download a free copy of this report at The Missing Ingredient Necessary to Improve Employee Performance.I felt like I was speaking to a younger version of myself.As a young executive in professional baseball, I often felt this way.What stories are you telling yourself about this person?
What assumptions are you making about them and your relationship? In his book, , Gay Hendricks describes the “zone of genius” as the place where your greatest passion and your innate gifts meet. What unique power and talents do you bring to the table?
First and foremost, I suggest starting by looking within. Think back to the people who have intimidated you in the past. When I think back, I can definitely spot a pattern to the type of people I felt intimidated by: people with some perceived “power” (confidence, assertiveness, popularity, etc.).